Feeling a little... blah. I guess.

So, I was good today, for the most part. After I blogged and played on my computer for a while, I got to cleaning my room. YAY FOR ME! I called the people about my W-2 Tax forms. One I just needed to print (which I did later this evening), one they are going to re-mail, the other I have to send them a self addressed stamped envelope so they can send it. Hopefully, all of this will be in before 4/15. :D I got a big chunk of my room done. I have my desk still, and a few boxes that i need to bring over to my dads to store. I called Aaron to see if he was done working, and he was. We were GOING to go to the gym, we got all the way there, and decdided we were both too tired to go jogging (I had missed breakfast and I am fasting and hadn't gotten much sleep). We went back to his house, and we fell asleep for a little while, on accident. I woke up to go to my dad's house for dinner. I was starving and ate up ALL his food. Then, I went back home and cleaned more. Aaron got out of class, and we went to his house so he could fix his snowmaching. He rented a disc of Roswell to occupy me. We left there and came back to my house a little bit ago. I wanted to go to bed early, but he had accidentally taken his roommates keys, so we had to go back. Its okay though, because I don't have anything pressing tomorrow. As long as I get up before 10 I think I'll be okay.

Anyways, I was thinking today. Probably cause I spent time alone and I always end up thinking when that happens. I hope my mom is reading this cause she'll have a little victory dance about being right all these years. I told her the divorce never really affected me at all. I think that it did, although it was not the devestating way she seemed to think. I was thikning today about how I have a habit of attaching to families and considering them family, although they are not. When they point out, or I realize that I am NOT really part of their family, and that they don't see me that way, it hurts alot. I was discussing it with Aaron and trying to explain why i felt that way. That lead to a bit of self-realization. I realized that many of the families I tried to attach myself to were "stable" families. There was a Mom and a Dad. Even though they may not have been my friends real parent, or the persons first husband/wife, they were still a couple with kids. I think that I have this need to belong to some kind of family. For me, the only family I have currently that I'm close to, that I know sees me as just as much family as I see them, and just as close, is my dad. Maybe thats not enough for me. I've been listening to these country songs and although people say they are all "crying in your beer" songs, alot of them revolve around a happy family (a man singing about his wife and kids). They have family dinners with EVERYONE there, and theres just this closeness. I want that. I will just have to wait until I get married and have kids to have that for myself, but until then I think I keep looking for a substitute, and I'm definatly not successful with that so far. Oh well, this was all just self-reflection. :D